Leaving for a new work

Todays theme for Five Minute Friday is...Leave.

This word brings up many emotions to me. As a child and young person I was always leaving.  Fourteen changes in schools...Four different high schools. Yes, I was also arriving...but it took change and risk.  Walking into new situations. Meeting new people. Trying to fit in. 

The best "leave" for me was not what I thought was best at the time. My husband was stationed in Alaska for a year and I could not go with him.  I left my home state and came to the Midwest to live with his family...(who I really didn't know.)  During this time I had a baby girl. She was four months old when her Daddy came home.

I was determined to "leave" the Midwest and return to my home state... out west.  The Lord, I discovered, had different plans. My husband began a new job (no longer in the air force) and we settled into a town in the Midwest.


 The Lord had been drawing me to him. The year, while my husband was gone, I had come to realize I needed God. I could not do life on my own. At 22 yrs old I asked Jesus to come into my life.

I have had many healings from my childhood trauma. The time when you think...oh I'm all healed up. Surprise!

 This last Monday I was watching a Beth Moore video at Bible study.  She was speaking on "nurturing" and "parenting. I was so surprised when I felt the heaviness and tears began to roll out of my eyes.  I can never think of a time in my young life when I was nurtured...loved...or wanted.

This was not the only reason for the tears...the Lord was plainly saying to me.."I want to do this work in your life". (But Lord, I thought we had already gone through that).  

I knelt that night by my bed and cried...I felt His presence around me...in my imagination I laid my head on his chest.

I know there is a new work He wants to do.  It will mean leaving behind many things. I had to admit to him my insecurities. My feelings of not feeling valued.  My longing for a mother and a father. My hurts over not having these in my young life.( Or even in my older life.)

I am not sure everything He will teach me. Or the incredible work He is determined to do in me...but I am willing.

I am willing to leave the insecurity. The lie of being abandoned (For He never abandoned me.) Realizing, that the important people in my life, just could not give me what I needed.  But, The Lord has everything to give to me.

I am ready to leave what was old and embrace the newness He has for me...

I love You Jesus...work on

SHATTERED AND RESTORED

How does a child understand brokenness...

divorce...constantly moving...angry words...

Alcoholism...

slowly...the brokenness begins in the child's heart...

harshness...rejection...told you weren't wanted

pieces of hurt...sharp words and actions breaking...breaking...

into pieces.

Afraid...lost...broken

Only One could heal the brokenness...

Only One understood and cared

He began to mend me

I didn't even discern all my brokenness...

But He touched each broken piece...

He brought healing...

Value...
A reason to live....live without brokenness...

He fit my pieces together and made me whole.

Jesus said "Come unto Me, all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest....Take My yoke upon you an learn of Me for I Am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Jesus...the healer of broken pieces.

WRITING AN INWARD LOOK

Good morning. I am joining Lisa Jo Bakers Friday morning blog ...the subject is WRITING.


What is there about writing that can make a person feel better?

Writing is therapeutic for me.  I have stacks of journals down in the basement.  I debate, should I keep all of them are not?  They are full of the wonderful times I have had; plus the struggles.  They are filled with my private thoughts and prayers.

 They are full of God's promises to me.

I write out my prayers and my feelings.  When I'm reading the Word I write the scripture that is speaking to my heart.

I love to write. It is so creative. So freeing. I have received a lot of healing through writing. My perspective changes and I see things in a clearer light....clarity.

I do recommend writing.  writing is a personal thing...it is all about what is inside you.

No one needs to read it but you...write down your attributes, what you are thankful for, what you are struggling with.
Share yourself with paper and pen....write.