REFLECTIONS.

Gloria Phifer

REFLECTION

                              


Wow!!! Hold on!!! I turned "75" yesterday. I don't "feel" 75. It is amazing. Where did the years go???

As I've shared before I was not a "wanted" child. And I was raised in an alcoholic home with chaos, strife and violence. I didn't know what "peace" was. 

My saving grace was that at 6 or 7 years old I was told that Jesus Christ is The Son of God and that He loves me. That was tucked down into my little heart and I believed.

I can't even go into all that He protected me from and how He would show up in my life at times. At 15 yrs old, with something scary I was going through, I prayed. The Lord talked to me about being "born again...and it is a straight and narrow way." I don't think I knew how to do what was put in my conscientious...but I also knew in my heart it was "giving up control of my life"...I knew it meant "Everything." I didn't want to give up control. I use to tell myself how strong I was to be able to get through everything that was going on...denial...complete!!! I was spiraling down. Was life worth living?

At 18 yrs old a young man from Iowa came into my life...Iowa? (where is Iowa?). we were in New Mexico. I married him when I was 19 (almost 20). 

He was sent to Alaska in isolation through the Air Force. I came and lived in Iowa with his parents. I had a baby daughter while he was gone. He came home to his baby girl.

I was having a terrible time. I knew nothing about post-par-tum depression...but looking back I can see that was part of it. 

I fought fear constantly. I had a wonderful husband and baby girl but I was so lost.

The Lord put me in a neighborhood with two Christian gals.
I didn't even know where to read in the Bible. The church we began attending told me to begin to read in the book of John...I Understood it!!!

At 22 yrs old, I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life...I was born again and filled with The Holy Spirit.

My life changed forever. I found "Peace." Real peace. I found "Life." I found a Shepherd. The Lord told me I had been born for Him. 

We have 3 grown children. 9 grandchildren, all but one are in their 20's and now we are "Great grandparents."

If you hesitate to give your life to Jesus Christ...please hear my words...He brings abundant life. you know, that emptiness in you that never feels like it is ever filled? He fills that emptiness. 

And my family of origin...my mother, step dad, brother, grandmother, aunt and many others came to Christ. My mother and stepdad, grandmother and aunt are in Heaven right now. 

I thank The Lord that He knew me before I was ever born (Ps. 139) He loved me so much...He had a calling and destiny for my life. And He has a calling and destiny for your life. 

Jesus is Someone you can talk to. He is there...just pray to Him and He will answer you. 

REGRETS

Gloria Phifer

The word "regret?" the concept  is one of negativity. I don't see regret as a positive word. As I thought on this word...there is one basic regret I have...

When I was 15 yrs old, there was something going on in our home that made me afraid. I never shared anything that happened at home, I kept it all inside. My mother told me that nothing should be told that took place in our home. Secrecy, and yet it was known. We lived it every day. 

An X friend of my mother's sat in his yellow cadillac watching our house. My mother had told him it was over.

  I was scared of him. The yellow cadillac sat like a menace on the corner.

My mother said, "I'm going to begin picking your brother up from school because I am afraid of what "he" (the man in the car) might do. She said, "I am really worried about you. because he hates you." But, she never said she would pick me up from school. And this added to my fears.

I begin going into the bathroom, locking door and praying, asking God for help.

One day, as I was walking home from school, my arms were heavy as I carried my books and my legs felt like weight. I was under so much stress, tension and fear.

"Are you saved?" was a penetrating thought in my mind. Hmmm
this was a spiritual question I knew that. But, what was "saved?"

I begin a conversation with this thought. "I'm a good girl, I don't drink and I don't smoke...and you should see what my friends do" (There, that surely put me in a good light...right?_)

Now, you need to know that we rarely, except for a short time in Montana, went to church. I had listened to Billy Graham before.

Another penetrating thought...with two sentences. "You, must be born again. And, it is a straight and narrow way."

I knew in my heart I had not been born again. (Although I could not tell you or myself how to be born again.) and I knew instinctively that I was not on a straight and narrow way.

I also had a deep revelation that this was serious. This was a full commitment. I knew it would mean a complete change of life. I knew that it would mean giving up control. 

Why I did not ask questions, I do not know. Why I didn't respond in a different way...I do know...I did not want to give up control. What would this be like? What would it mean? Would He send me to Africa? 

I actually dismissed the thoughts, telling myself I was too young, maybe when I got older.

What is very interesting , I did not know how to be "born again." I did not know what the straight and narrow way really was. I just had the sense that it meant a complete surrender and I was afraid of complete surrender.

I even realized that God was trying to answer my prayers. Later in life I could see how He persisted. Our life became worse. I didn't know if life was worth living. I was moved basically every year...beginning a new school. Trying to fit in...missing wherever I had just come from. No stability. a mother who I felt hated me. Afraid to talk to anyone about the drinking, the violence, the abuse, the calling the police. 

There were nights I was up until 2:30...taking care of my brother making sure he was asleep...waiting for my mothers car to pull into the driveway so I could sleep. I was awake because I was scared. Or up until 4 after there had been a drunken fight and the police came.

I was missing a lot of school. One day, I went to get a pass to get back into class , the Vice Principal said, "If you miss one more day of school you are out of here." If only he had known...but would I have even told...there would be big consequences if I told anyone what was happening. 

It is a longer story. But my life spiraled down. I did marry at 19 to a wonderful young man. But he was sent to Alaska through the Air force for a year in isolation and I couldn't go with him. I came and lived with his family...who were strangers to me. I realized I was pregnant.

My daughter and I moved into an apartment and for 4 months I looked out at a brick wall. No one took care of my daughter but me. I had no support.

My husband returned and we moved to a small town. Through that year, I had realized I wasn't going to make it on my own. I knew I needed The Lord. After reading in the Book of John in the Bible I prayed and I was born again.

What had I been afraid of? This was "Peace." It was joy" It was Jesus!!!

So, my one regret is, that I didn't come to the Lord when He 1st spoke to me on my way home from school. Because in coming to Him I found The Person Who knows me and loves me unconditionally.

One statement that The Lord gave me, that changed so much in the way I saw myself was, "I was born for Him...He had planned my birth. He had brought me to Himself. I was born for Him.

Regrets can be put under the Blood of Jesus. We don't need to carry them. Grace and Mercy come with The Lord. He will take everything we have gone through and use it to help other people. 

Do not hesitate, as I did, in giving your life to The Lord. It is like walking in a dark place,

suddenly a Door opens and Light streams in  surrounding you and swallows up and destroys the darkness. 

Here is a prayer. "Lord Jesus, this life is so hard, I need and ask You to forgive my sins, I receive You as my Savior and my Lord. Come, Lord Jesus, into my life. I give myself and all that concerns me to You in Jesus Name Amen."

THE ULTMATE LIE.

Gloria Phifer

THE ARMOR OF GOD.

Through my life I have fought a lot of fear.

The biggest weapon the devil uses is fear. Fear of the future. Fear of what people think. etc. 

You wonder if such a creature, who uses fear all the time, isn't fearful himself?

Fear is "False evidence appearing real." The devil tries to convince you there is something to be afraid of...to fear. 

The Bible is full of 365 "Fear nots." One for every day. 

Jesus command was "Fear Not...be not afraid." 

Proverbs 3:25 "Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it comes."

So, what I see is, the devil will try to use fear against you. The Lord says "Do not be afraid!!!" 

Joyce Meyers says "the devil sets you up to get upset."

Philippians 1:28 "In nothing terrified by your adversaries: which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God.:

To me this means when the enemy attacks me with fear, and I do not fear...this shows him he has lost and I have the Victory through Jesus Christ. 

I use to fight fear when I was young. I remember, as a young Christian, The Lord showed me this scripture...2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

When I saw that fear was a spirit. I knew who I was fighting. I still remember standing in my kitchen, I felt The Lord right next to me, and when that fear showed up I spoke 2 Timothy 1:7 out loud with boldness. and that fear left!!!

Fear loves to take imagination captive. These are thoughts that are against the knowledge of God. 2 Corinthians 10:5 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ."

What is the obedience of Christ...He says "Fear not!!!" 

What is God's will? That you walk free from fear...walk in faith...resist fear...it is your enemy. 

Jesus Christ has given us the Victory and He has given us "Power, Love and a Sound, disciplined Mind."

Ephesians 6:10-18 "my brethren, be strong in The Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the full Armor of God, that you may stand against the wiles (schemes) of the devil....

Do not believe the ultimate lie...remember the devil is a liar...Jesus said the devil cannot speak the truth, because there is NO truth in him. So when he comes with fear...Fear Not!!! Trust in The Lord!!!

MY OWN

Gloria Phifer....Jesus My Shepherd...watercolor.

JESUS MY OWN

                      My Jesus from childhood

                      My Friend to a little girl

                          My One Who loved me in grief

                             My One Who kept me through darkness

                               My One Who stayed with me in loneliness,
                                                  chaos and confusion.

                            My One Who wept with me in loss

                             My One Who prepared the path before me

                              My One Who revealed Himself as Savior

                              My One Who delivered my soul, my life

                               My One Who freed me from fear

                               My One Who held me close to His Heart

                        My Own Who took away my hurts, fear and pains

     My Own Jesus, Who loved me, before I knew He was my Own.

                My Own, to Who I belong. My Jesus.

                           My Own Jesus...my Own.

NO FEAR IN LOVE

                                                       by gloria phifer

  I was afraid of the night and of the dark.  In the light of day I despaired of living.  I was in bondage

to fear and guilt, never able to get away from myself.  The world around me seemed dark and hopeless.

I wondered why I had been born.  Was it to live in this darkness?

In my world of darkness and fear, Someone switched on the Light.  With the Light, came hope and a

reason for living.

As approaching a scared child, Jesus came near  to me with comforting words of love.

I was not alone and He would never leave me.  He reached out and held me.  He told all

fears to leave!

He made me feel secure and loved.  As I was held, He spoke reassuring words of hope and love.

There was no hurry; He had all the time for me that I needed.  The rest of my life, He would always

be there.

  Inside of me, where I had been tense with fear, everything relaxed.  I felt warm and secure.  I leaned

completely on Jesus and released my tears; telling Him of all my hurts, guilt and pain.  The release

was healing, as He tenderly listened to me.

 I was a child ,held by a loving Father, Who understands and cares.  In this warmth and love

I found healing for my emotional needs.  There was nothing that I could not tell Him. There wasn't

anything too insignificant to Him.  If it concerned me, it concerned Him. 

Daily and yearly my trust in Him has grown.  He truly cares for me. He is perfect Love.

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear. 1 Peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.