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Friday, September 16, 2016

Gloria Phifer

Identity has become a big issue in our country. Everywhere we go, if we go to the doctor, travel etc., we must prove our identity.

I had an identity crises in my life. At the age of ten, I was told about my real father, Warren Kenneth Bolding. I found out that my mom and father had divorced when I was 3. My mom told me my real father didn’t care about me, or he wouldn’t have given up custody of me. I was also told, I had a sister from his first marriage. It was a lot to take in as a ten year old. I thought my stepdad was my father…now I found out he wasn’t. Now I knew my brother and I had different fathers. (my step dad died 3 months later in a accident at his work.)

I decided that someday I would find my real father. What bothered me the most, was that I was told he didn’t care about me.

The summer, before I married my husband, (I was 19 yrs. old.) we found out that Warren Kenneth had died of a massive heart attack.  I was so sad. I would never meet him.

In my 40’s, I was thinking about my sister, I had never met. My mother sent me a letter, saying she had been in contact with someone who knew her. My mother gave me the information of where my sister worked. I wrote a letter, not knowing if she even knew about me. A week later I received a phone call from my sister. She said, “Gloria, I have been looking for you for 21 years.”

I had married and moved to Iowa. She was in New Mexico. I visited her.
The only thing we had in common was a father that neither of us knew. My sister knew our grandfather (who had also passed away.) She gave my father's  first cousin, who lived in Texas, my address.  She sent me a lot of information on the Bolding family. But, not much detail about Warren Kenneth.

Years later, when our son moved to California, I visited him. He drove me to San Diego and I found my father’s grave. We had his old address, but the freeway had taken that area.

A few weeks later, after I flew back to Iowa, my husband and I drove our son’s pickup to California.

We stopped in Phoenix. I had made contact with Warren Kenneth’s nephew and his wife. We spent the evening with them. Once again, I was disappointed. The nephew didn’t know him well. My father remained a mystery man.

That night, after we returned to the motel, I went to the pool. I was there alone. Once again I had this sadness. An emptiness. 

Identity” kept coming into my mind. I listened and The Lord spoke to my heart, “Your identity is in Me.” (I hadn’t realized I was looking for identity.)

The Lord really began a new process in me. He had given me identity. My identity IS IN HIM. HE IS MY FATHER.

He wanted me. He ordained my life. I was chosen by Him before the foundation of the world. (Ephesians 1). He would never abandon me...never leave me nor forsake me.

 The Lord replaced that search for : “learning who I am In Christ Jesus.” True identity, as a Child of My Father Who is in Heaven and The King of Kings and Lord of Lords.    His Holy Spirit lives within me.
I belong.

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