It was so vivid...no I didn't want to go there...I didn't want to think
about it...it hurt too much. For two days the memory surfaced.
The year was 1963, I had just finished cosmetology school. my mother, her boyfriend and my brother had picked me up in Albuquerque. We were heading to a job site for my mothers boyfriend.
I had not been able to have my cat for a year, because I was renting a room from a family as I went to school. I loved my cat. Throughout my childhood the only unconditional love I ever felt was from my cats. He was a beautiful, half Siamese, shiny black.
Earlier, before cosmetology school, we had lived in Santa Rita, New Mexico. I would let my cat out and he always came back. This one night he didn't. I heard the screeching sounds of a cat fight. In my pajamas, I climbed over the back fence and separated my cat from the other cat. I picked him up and climbed back over the fence with him in my arms. He was shaking. He had lost one nail. I wrapped him in a large towel until he calmed down. No sir, no other cat was going to get the best of him...he had me!
He laid on my lap in the backseat of the car as we entered Colorado. When we got a motel room, I opened the door and let him out since he had ridden all day. I knew he would come back after he finished his business. I had done this before and he always returned.
He never returned. I was heartbroken as I called and searched for him. The next day we were to be on the road again. I couldn't leave without finding him. I was crying hysterically.
I talked to the woman who owned the motel and she said she would keep an eye out for him. I sobbed in the backseat as we left that town.
When I called the motel, the lady said she never saw him. I had a deep sense of loss.
I am now almost 74 years old...it has been over 54 years...but the vivid memory and the deep pain kept coming up for two days.
What happened to him? Why did I let him out of the motel? Why didn't I go with him? In those days, we never put a leash on our animals...if only I had had a leash.
I sat down and prayed. I cried like a child, as I told The Lord how much it hurt. Finally, knowing that I have a good Heavenly Father Who wants to heal my pain..."Lord, I know time and space are nothing to You. I pray Lord, that at that time and place that You took care of my cat. I release this to You believing, because of Your great love, that You did."
I felt the peace, the assurance. I knew The Lord had brought back the memory because He wanted to heal that wound in me.The wound of loss.
I laugh sometimes. When I get to Heaven and open my mansion door will all my wonderful animal friends come pouring out?
Lord, Thank You that You loved me and let me experience unconditional love from a cat that belonged to You. Amen.
Many times we have deep wounds that we don't want to revisit. It hurts too much. The Lord has done many inner healings in my life. It is like having a pain and then when You bring it to him...His healing pours in ...the memory is still there...but the hurt has left.
If you have any losses, hurt, wounds bring them to Jesus, He is the Healer of the brokenhearted and He binds up wounds.You can talk to Him He cares and understands...He loves you just like He loves me.
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